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The best PSA I've seen this year. Props to the American Cancer Society and whoever came up with this one.

Crack the shutters open wide, it's 20 degrees!

I was driving by the bank last week on my way to work, and a question struck me: Why does my bank continue to show Celsius degrees on their marquee? Does anyone in this country actually care what the Celsius temperature is (BTW, it was 21. 70 degrees Farenheit).

And what's up with the formula to convert the two? Tell me if this sound like it was made up by scientists spending too much time in the lab.

Nerd: Take the "normal Fahrenheit" temperature and subtract 32
Geek: Why 32?
Nerd: Um... Not sure. Just trust me.
Geek: OK
Nerd: Now take that number and multiply it by 5.
Geek: OK
Nerd: Now divide that number by 9.
Geek: What?
Nerd: Divide it by 9.
Geek: Seriously? I just multiplied it by 5?
Nerd: Just do it.

Eureka! We've discovered the conversion: Celsius = (5/9)*(Fahrenheit-32)

I'm sure there are good scientific reasons for the formula (reasons I likely learned in 8th grade but have since purged from memory), but it always seemed terribly random to me. And because of how it's set up, check this out. At -40 degrees Farenheit, it's -40 degrees Celsius. Wait...what? In Antarctica they don't even use Celsius and Fahrenheit. It's just -40.

Ridiculous.

But wait. Celsius is a much cleaner measurement of temperature. Zero = Freezing Water. 100 = Boiling Water. Why would we not use this?

This blog post could quickly fall into my "English systems of measurement are crazy" soap box (and who isn't waiting for that?). More kids would pass Jr. High math and science if they didn't have to deal with feet, miles, pounds, ounces, and kips. Kips? Really? A unit of force is called a kip?

I'll save the remainder of my metric measurement rant for another day.

So I'm thinking of learning the Celsius system (it's not that hard - 0 to 100) and using it in everyday speech.

"Hey Joe, it's gonna be a scorcher today. Might reach 35... Celsius"

Roses are green...

Thanks, honey, for finding this one. Christmas is coming!

Testical Festival: A Summer Tradition

The facts.:

What: Testical Festival
Where: Olean (pronounced "Oh-Lee-Anne"), Missouri
When: Saturday, June 6


Catch phrases for the festival that didn't make the cut:

"Testical Festival: A great place to hang."
"Testical Festival: You'd be nuts to miss it."
"Great deals, by the sack."
"Buy one, get one free."

(Your turn)

"Good luck on your project"

I have a particular interest in customer service, both in government work 

(where I've spent the last decade)  and retail (see recent post on my Best Buy experience).

A Menards Home Improvement store just opened in Columbia, and I hadn't been yet.  I was initially frustrated that I couldn't search specific products on their website (Home Depot is the online winner), but I thought I'd give it a shot anyway.  At least I'd be able to say "yes" when asked by my home improvement friends about the new store.

Menards is impressive.  It's big, varied, and at least for now the prices seems to be better than HD and Lowes.  I picked up a couple screen doors for our patios and a light fixture.

Here's the money shot:  On the way out, an employee asked me if I'd found everything I needed (typical - no big deal).  I said yeah, and then kept walking, as did he.  But his parting words to me were, "Good luck on your project today!"

For some reason it really touched me.  I felt a connection to this guy (though I can't even remember his face) and to Menards.  I'm not exactly "handy," so to get encouragement - especially someone who I assume is pretty good at this stuff - felt great.

It's weird the things that make a difference.  I installed the screen doors, and I'd like to think that the "Luck of Menards" might have played a part.   I'm amazed how much I clamor for encouraging words, and for relational connections, no matter how small.  Even at the hardware store.

Hmmm... I wrote "Even at the hardware store" as if it's a less likely relationship destination tha home, church, or with friends.  But maybe if I open myself up to embracing connections everywhere, and enjoy them as they happen, it will help me engage in even longer-lasting, deeper relationships as well.

Even with the people I love most.

When you come to a fork in the road, take it.

This Yogi Berra quote was recently referenced in a sermon I attended.  The pastor-type dismissed the quote as bumbling, idiotic, and simply incorrect.  There is a right way and a wrong way to go, and simply "taking it" was not an option.

I was bothered by the closed-minded interpretation, and I felt it was made more out of convenience than honoring the art. It fit the next sermon's next bullet point (thought I forget what it was...I think it started with a "W"), but it came off as lazy.

I've long been a fan of the wisdom of Yogi Berra, including this quote.  To me it is an encouragement of proactivity.  There are a number of things I can do when approaching a proverbial fork in the road:

• Freak out that there is a fork in the road
  
• Over-analyze the situation
  
• Freeze
• Assume there is one right and one wrong choice
• Turn around and head back where I came from
  
• Pick one and go
  

I think Yogi was telling us that when we come to a decision point, big or small, his suggested course of action is to choose a path and take action along that path.  It might be imperfect, painful, and even plain wrong when viewed with hindsight - but it will be movement.  And it's this movement that teaches and grows us.  Another modern poet, Jason Mraz, recently wrote, "I reckon it's again my turn to win some or learn some."

I think my reaction to its use as a sermon illustration was frustration, because my opinion of the quote was so different.  But is my attitude any different?  Am I just doing the same thing I'm accusing?  Stubbornly defending my personal opinion?

Hmmm.  Not sure, and not awake enough to figure it out.  I'll post for now and sort out the rest later.

Whatever happened, happened...

I ran across a helpful comment about time travel on a LOST blog I read regularly.

(Yes, I read a blog about a TV show.  Regularly.  Actually, I don't know how anyone can watch LOST without some sort of viewer's guide to keep up. It's like playing the original Legend of Zelda without Nintendo Power. No thanks.)

It was a nice summation of why we cannot change the past, even if we could go back in time:

"Say that you went back in time to stop John Wilkes Boothe from killing Lincoln. The whole point of you going back to this time period would be to stop the murder. However, once you stop it you would not have a reason to go back in time. Therefore the murder would still occur since you would not have gone back in time to stop it."

It made my brain hurt, but it actually seemed to make sense. I'm sure a bunch of 12 year-olds are like, "duh, we figured that one out in third grade." Well, I didn't, so back off.

people are just people like you

For me, the first listen of a new CD, is usually an underwhelming experience. It usually takes me at least 3-4 times through to really latch on to it, and to pick out my favorites.

The same thing was happening last week as I started Regina Spektor's "Soviet Kitsch." Until I hit Track 9.

"The Ghost of Corporate Future" has been in my head for three days now. As with much of Spektor's music, she couples an addictingly simple piano hook with lyrics just as captivating but much more complex. I'm reminded of the big picture -- that my latest presentation, e-mail, and budget discussions don't really matter.

I've copied out a few of my favorite lyrics from the song, but do yourself a favor and watch the video below, or better yet, pick up the CD on Amazon here.

Imagine you go away
On a business trip one day
And when you come back home,
Your children have grown
And you never made your wife moan,
Your children have grown
And you never made your wife moan...

And people make you nervous
You'd think the world is ending,
And everybody's features have somehow started blending
And everything is plastic, And everyone's sarcastic,
And all your food is frozen,
It needs to be defrosted...

You'd think the world was ending,
You'd think the world was ending,
You'd think the world was ending right now...

Well maybe you should just drink a lot less coffee,
And never ever watch the ten o'clock news.
Maybe you should kiss someone nice,
Or lick a rock,
Or both...

People are just people,
People are just people,
People are just people like you.

Red Light Cameras: Traffic Safety or Big Brother?

Interesting discussion this week in Shreveport, LA, regarding red light photo enforcement. As this has also been a hot topic in Columbia of late, I thought I'd share some snippets of the article and (of course) my comments. Full news story: http://tr.im/iTgA

The chairman of the Shreveport City Council today promises a vigorous fight against proposed red light cameras in Shreveport, calling them "Orwellian" and a case of government snooping into people's lives.

They are neither. If you obey the law, you will not be photographed, videoed, or otherwise bothered by the Orwellian government.

There is no proof the cameras cut down on accidents at intersections -- and they could do the opposite, Councilman Ron Webb said.

Untrue. Numerous studies have shown significant decreases in red light running and severe crashes at signals (predominantly T-bone / angle / sideswipe collisions).

He noted an incident in Dallas when a driver slammed on her brakes to avoid possibly getting a ticket because of the red light camera. His son was one of three drivers involved in a resulting three-vehicle chain reaction wreck.

"He could have easily been killed. Thanks for nothing, Big Brother!" Webb said.

Um...no. It is extremely rare that rear-end crashes at signals are ever serious. At the very least, red light cameras swap out crash types. Rear-end minor crashes may go up, but angle crashes (which often result in injury) will go down.

Red light cameras, or automated traffic ticketing systems, take a picture of the license plate of a vehicle whose driver commits a traffic violation at an intersection. A ticket is then mailed to the address of the registered owner.

Webb said researchers have studied red light cameras and found they don't work at best, and could actually cause more crashes as drivers abruptly stop when lights turn yellow.

"This is a Pandora’s Box we best never open, lest we lose what few freedoms we still have left," Webb said. "We need to ask ourselves this question: In a free society, when is enough 'government protection' enough?"

This is a case of a public official not wanting something to happen, so he stands behind Freedom to protect law-breakers. The truth is that red light cameras do improve safety, and a little "invasion of privacy" of drivers who choose to blow through red lights is a small price to pay to save lives on our roads.

Bottom Line: Don't run red lights, and you'll have nothing to worry about.

Book Review: Velvet Elvis

With the sheer number of books in the world it's often difficult for me to discern which are worthy of reading. I recently blogged about a strategy I developed for me: Read Chapter 1. Check for Goosebumps. As I run across books that capture me in some way, I'll share a quick review.

I've recently had a revived interest in the questions of faith, church, God and their various intersections.  The squeaky-clean Sunday School solutions of my youth often haven't translated to my real life as an adult, and in the search for better answers I've determined that I've become more drawn to the search itself.

In Velvet Elvis: Repainting the Christian Faith, Rob Bell poses questions I've often had in my head but not verbalized. He doesn't supply many answers, but invites us to join the conversation of faith, life, text, and their multiple intersections.

"Times change. God doesn't, but times do... letting go of whatever has gotten in the way of Jesus, and embracing whatever will help us be more & more the people God wants us to be."

"The Christian faith is mysterious to the core. It is about things and beings that ultimately can't be put into words. Language fails. And if we do definitively put God into words, we have at that very moment made God something God is not."

I've since learned that Bell has his share of disagree-ers, and his postmodern/emerging/Gen-XY attitude is a turn-off to some conservatives. But maybe that's part of the draw for me. It's something a little different that asks me to really think about what I believe, instead of just learning facts (and opinions dressed as fact).

It was simultaneously refreshing and challenging to read and think about the "What ifs" and "Whys" of this writing, and I'm interested to enter the discussions prompted by the author as I continue my journey - asking questions and questioning answers.